New Guide Helps Turn Trauma into 'Post Traumatic Success’
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Here at the-Coaching Blog-run by Gerard O’Donovan, our aim is to constantly bring value to those seeking to improve their lives. Therefore we have a policy of publishing articles and materials by guest authors whom we value and appreciate. Today’s guest author is Diana Barden.
‘Career: is a past trauma holding you back from career success? Diana Barden explores how past trauma affects people and even those who have been severely traumatised can work to turn their trauma into success’
The one thing we learn when we live through a traumatic event for the first time, is that we do not have a divine right to a nice, easy, plain-sailing, trauma-free life! Traumatic events (for example serious illness, divorce, redundancy, bereavement) happen to everyone, and debilitating, depressing and disempowering as they may be, can also be an opportunity for renewal, re-energising and re-birth. It all comes down to our perspective, how we view the event itself and how we choose to deal with it. This choice will be affected by a number of things: past history, our peer group and how they tend to choose, the ‘meaning’ we give the traumatic event, and something we might term resilience or our ‘locus of control.
Broadly speaking, as a species, human beings divide themselves into two categories. Our ability to rationalise our experiences often leads us to give them meaning, for example ‘X means he doesn’t love me anymore’ or ‘Y means my boss doesn’t value my ability’ or ‘Z means I must be a bad person’. The first category of people, those with an external locus of control, believe the control or the ability to affect a situation lies outside of themselves, thus they are powerless to do anything about it. Those in the second category have a fundamental belief, a mind-set, that while they cannot wish the event away, they can at least choose how they allow it to make them feel; they can control how they view it and what they decide to do about it.
The concept of the locus of control was first coined in the 1950s by psychologist John Rotten. We see this divide between those with an external and an internal locus of control who are looking to change jobs, start their own business or make some other change in their careers. What do these statements tell you about the mind-set, the belief systems of the speakers:
‘They kept asking me really difficult questions in the interview, I don’t think they liked me’
‘I have a few questions I prepared before this interview to help me to decide whether I would like to work for your company’
‘When XYZ company didn’t return my call, I checked their website and found the manager’s email address so I could contact them in a different way’
‘I’d love to start my own business, but I have children to look after/no children/no time/not the right qualifications’
The difference really comes down to whether we choose to be at the cause of our own destiny, and thus our career, or at the effect of others’ decisions. Everyone has traumatic events in their lives, not everyone understands the power we have within ourselves to choose how we perceive those events, the meaning we lend them and the extent to which we can consciously choose how we can build them into our life plans, rather than struggle to fight or avoid them.
Credit Source:
Diana has spent the last 20 years delving into the mind-body connection, and what can be possible when we start consciously choosing our own feelings and emotions. As a trainer, mentor and coach, Diana is committed to working with those who want to turn life’s traumas into successes, and leave the world a better place as a result. Diana lives with her two children near Cambridge.
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