Here at the-Coaching Blog-run by Gerard O’Donovan, our aim is to constantly bring value to those seeking to improve their lives. Therefore we have a policy of publishing articles and materials by guest authors whom we value and appreciate. Today’s guest author is Gary Gasaway (USA)
Much of my practice as a life coach is working and guiding my clients to attain their ‘life goals’. These life goals are really just everyday responsibilities: family and relationships, money and finances, career and business, spiritual and education, health and well-being, and enjoyment and fulfillment.
To begin their journey, I have them complete an exercise to help control their emotional state and stay focused upon what they really want from life. More importantly, this simple NLP exercise creates a transformation of the renewing of their minds to think differently. This exercise provides them with purposeful focus regarding what I refer to as; reflection connection. That is – thinking, feeling, and acting upon the enhancement of attaining their life goals.
To do this, I have the client visualize the steering wheel of the vehicle they drive (after all, they are in control). Using the life goals listed above, I have them think and reflect upon the two most important goals that they want to make positive changes to as they hold their steering wheel (two goals because it is recommended to have your hands at ’10AM and 2PM’ on the wheel as you drive – a total focus). With this kind of focused reprogramming, the client experiences getting control of their mind (thoughts), emotional state (feelings), then taking actions to enhance their life.
The Foundation of Reflection Connection
To better understand the process of this focused reprogramming, let’s start with the foundation to reflection connection. First, a question. Do you reflect upon your life? The answer is yes. We all do. But, do we experience purposeful reflection connections that create better self-awareness promoting enrichment in our lives? The answer unfortunately is few truly experience the essential and wonderful stage of effective reflection – connecting with them. So, this is where the focused reprogramming comes in.
For most, our reflecting derives from unconscious efforts of unintentional thoughts. Why not create purposeful reflections – ones that you truly connect to? It is purposeful reflection connections that allow us to shape our thoughts, inspire and stretch our feelings, and create responses that promote self-awareness. If this self-awareness is embraced and applied to learning, it leads us to personal growth which produces enrichment in our lives.
The cycle of connecting with our reflections begins with our thoughts and feelings regarding an experience we wish to reflect upon. With thoughts and feelings created, the reflection, then moves to an effective response. It is with the effectiveness of the response that provides the level of connection, you will experience from your reflection.
In short, reflection connection is created intentionally to embrace your thoughts and express your feelings. These thoughts and feelings lead to responding with authority for this creates the foundation of connecting to life experiences. Reflection connection is the most effective way to engage self-awareness that results in enriching your life.
In other words, instead of letting the world create you, you direct the paths of your own world through reflection. With reflection connection, you can discover the real peace and fulfilment you seek in your life.
Reflection connections are all about your inner world of being, which in turn, affects your outer world of doing. This deep, intentional process allows you to make better sense of your present existence and the opportunity to create the world that could be. For most, this is a breakthrough. With the reprogramming of the mind, it then motivates you to move towards attaining what you want.
True reflection connection is first, learning more about how we respond to our reflection, then taking that learning and applying it for our personal growth. Reflection connections intentionally expand our thoughts, which in turn create powerful feelings. Being intentional in reflection connection is a focus with purpose. This driven purpose is meant to inspire and transform you towards improving your life.
Reflection Connections Happen in You
Reflection connections happen in you. Too many times we are focused only on what happens to us. We forget that we alone direct how we think and feel within. It is then up to us to dictate what happens within us, not by some outside source. Case in point, there are many that try too hard to understand where they wish they were or where they had hoped to be in life, but where that truth lies is within us.
The fact is, reflection connections promote self-awareness – and self-awareness enables us to see within ourselves more clearly. It is self-awareness that opens the doors to our mind and hearts that bring enrichment into our lives. Reflection connections help us see ourselves for who we really are. A clear view of ourselves is vital for new perspectives of where we are to where we desire to go in life.
After a solid foundation is set regarding reflection connection, I then move my clients to use the following techniques:
Prepare, Release, Reflect and Connect
To get the most out of connecting to our reflections, we must take the time to prepare, release, then reflect upon our experiences for the connection to take shape. These steps must be intentional in thoughts, feelings, and responses. These vital steps will inspire you to reach deep within, to truly reflect upon your past and present experiences. By going deep within, you can connect to reflective experiences with not just any response, but life-changing intentions that can create effective reflection connections.
Reflections allow us to shape our thoughts, inspire and stretch our feelings, and then apply the understanding of our life’s lessons to make the reflection connection possible. We start with preparing.
Everyone loves when something positive happens in their life, but having a negative situation occur is not the end of the world. Why? Because we can find positive benefits even in the worst of times. One great benefit is the lessons we learn. It is usually from these negative experiences that we connect with life lessons and have opportunities for deeper understanding of our self-awareness which affects personal growth.
Now open your eyes, as well as your mind, and especially your heart. With your mind, thoughts are presented. Through your heart, feelings are released. It is the combination of these thoughts and feelings that produce the responses from our reflections. It is from these intentional responses that we begin connecting with our reflections.
The key is to free yourself from distractions so that you are open to all circumstances that enter your mind and heart – both the positive and negative.
This is an opportune time to ask yourself questions first; simply respond to the reflection, then, determine what actions you could take regarding the reflection.
Reflect and Connect
Think about what you want to think about. Be patient. Reflections take time developing into powerful connections with your past, present, and future. The goal in reflection connection is to initiate new perspectives to embrace your life; thus, enriching it towards fulfilment.
Reflection connection goes beyond thoughts and feelings to embrace who you are and where you want to go in life. Being successful in embracing your life will require discipline and developing a habit of reflection connection daily.
Of course, the outcome is different with all clients, but the overwhelming results are a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) of the clients’ focus upon reaching for life goals that they truly want in their life. It is the use of these techniques that make it possible for more effectiveness to change client’s thoughts; thus, change their feelings, then actions. The results vary from improving or attaining new life goals, enhancing performance, making positive changes, personal development, staying focused upon self-awareness, or just gaining more individual control over life and its ever-changing environment.
About Gary Gasaway
Gary is the founder of Conflict Coaching Solutions, LLC, a professional life coaching business that focuses on inspiring individuals, couples, and/or groups to transform their conflictive situations into positive solutions.
Before creating his company, Gary was a ‘corporate coach’ for a large utility company in Southern California. During his 32 years with this company, Gary designed and developed several coaching courses and workshops that he facilitated to supervisors and managers throughout the company.
Gary also has now written and published four books; The Coach’s Chronicles Trilogy and just published; The Reflection Connection. For additional information regarding Gary and his business or books, go to: conflictcoachingsolutions.com
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