Resilience ooze

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Here at the-Coaching Blog-run by Gerard O’Donovan, our aim is to constantly bring value to those seeking to improve their lives. Therefore we have a policy of publishing articles and materials by guest authors whom we value and appreciate. Today’s guest author is Mary Keeley (United Kingdom).
It can happen in the blink of an eye. One minute we are bouncing around like Richard Branson or Karren Brady – confident, smart and the person in the room people are listening to – the next we’re shambling around in the corner feeling a complete fraud with an urgent desire to curl up in a onesie with a cup of hot chocolate… or punch the wall.
That feeling of resilience oozing out and settling in a puddle around our feet, however, isn’t always down to a catastrophic cock-up in the office or a dead cert prospect ditching us for the competition. How often has an off-the-cuff remark come out of the blue to smack you around the side of the head when you’re least expecting it, turning you from warrior to wimp?
In the old days, mothers would smirk and say about other people’s children: “Wait ’till he starts school – that will take him down a peg or two,” relishing in the fact that little Johnny, who was clearly brighter, funnier and way more handsome than their own little Tommy, had it coming to him. Why is it always at the precise moment we start to shine that some swine make it their mission to take us down a peg or two? Aha. Well, therein lies the rub. Because just like little Tommy’s mother, some people simply can’t handle it. And ‘it’ can be anything from the MD championing us in a meeting to the fact we have got the latest Apple, Samsung or a shiny new car. Contrary to what that little voice in our head is telling us, however, most resilience bashers will not be sitting up until 3am hatching their dastardly plot to undo us. All too often their words or actions stem from their own feelings of inadequacy or threat. We pick up on a nuance that feeds OUR feelings of inadequacy or of being a fraud. Our response can be quite severe: dragging us down into the depths of who our worst inner critic tells us we really are, because for far too many of us it’s extremely easy for resilience to ooze in the face of implied criticism. So what’s the answer? Stop the ooze! This may help you:

  1. Understand where the resilience basher is coming from. If you are the new girl or boy on the block, chances are you will be the boss’s new toy or the best thing since sliced bread in your market. Someone, somewhere may have their nose out of joint. You can choose to work with them to defuse the perceived threat or ignore it. Either way it does not affect who you are or what you are doing.
  2. Have the courage of your convictions. Don’t worry about what the resilience bashers may think or say. If you are a senior manager or consultant, you are paid for your expertise. If you don’t agree: challenge. If you have a great idea: share it. Don’t let your brilliance be buried by fear of what others think.
  3. Remember your role. The impostors amongst us (ever have the feeling someone is going to find out you are not all you are cracked up to be?) are only too happy to be pushed back into our boxes. If necessary recite and repeat the following: “I am a consultant/senior manager/CEO/Director/business owner” (delete as appropriate) and then behave like one.
  4. Choose to leave the resilience bashers behind and forge ahead anyway: Shine in spite of other people’s disgruntled-ness.
  5. Don’t be good. Be brilliant.

 
Credit Source:
Mary Keeley
It’s six years since Mary Keeley from The Bodacious stopped procrastinating and started showing men and women in business – and those who work in big businesses – how to stop being good and start being brilliant. Mary is an award-winning communications specialist and executive coach. She uses her experience of working with global businesses to help people work better together, conquer the stuff that holds them back, communicate and behave like leaders.
mary@thebodacious.com  www.thebodacious.com
 
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