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Here at the-Coaching Blog-run by Gerard O’Donovan, our aim is to constantly bring value to those seeking to improve their lives. Therefore we have a policy of publishing articles and materials by guest authors whom we value and appreciate. Today’s guest author is Alicia M. Rodriguez (USA).
One of the greatest saboteurs my clients face, especially women, is the myth of balance. As a coach to busy people and as an entrepreneur myself, the amount of responsibilities and pressure today can be overpowering. Who has not felt overwhelmed at some time? Particularly women who manage multiple roles are prone to feel like jugglers constantly shifting to manage all the things in their lives. With all the hype about “balance” and leading a “balanced life” women are destined to fail miserably.
The current definition of “balance” is a set up for failure. Our lives are complicated and unpredictable. Especially for women, balance creates an “either/or” dynamic which translates for women: damned if you do/damned if you don’t. For example, I can work out and take care of myself or I can do the grocery shopping; I can go to work and have a career, or I can be a stay-at-home-mom. Because of women’s multiple roles, and the lack of support for these in our culture, the myth of balance imposes double bind situations and unrealistic expectations. We proceed to beat ourselves up over not being able to do or have it all. It does not get much better for men either, who have their own set of cultural expectations that leaves little time or even permission for self-care, for following a passion or for going to their kids’ games and activities.
Harmony is different, however. Mother Nature provides the perfect model for harmony. Consider weather patterns or the ebb and flow of the tides. Nature’s harmony takes into account the “whole” system, not merely one or two aspects of a system. When you affect or influence one area of your life, inevitably other areas are also affected. So if you get a new job, you may have to allow more time for commuting which means you may have to move your day-care from one town to another, which means you may need to allow more money to pay for that day-care, on and on. Balance is a duality. Harmony is integral and whole. You are either in or out of balance, only two choices. Harmony seeks a synergy of multiple parts of the whole that allows flexibility, expansion, and contraction, all at the same time in order to keep your life fluid, healthy and thriving.
Harmony allows for more choices and takes advantage of multiple shifts in your use of time, money, resources or energy. If you consistently think in terms of maintaining harmony, instead of balance, you can put in place additional reserves of energy, time, money or resources for those times when you are met with the unexpected. You create more options for being successful even when under some strain. Harmony allows for more flexibility and it increases your awareness of your environment. You are better able to make adjustments and decisions when you have more options. When the crisis or event is over, you can then adjust back as needed and you avoid the burden of judgment about whether it was good or bad…it just was, you adapted and your life worked despite the unexpected occurrence. Harmony is based on adaptability that considers the complexities of your whole life.
Step away from your life a bit and begin to think of the many aspects of your life and how they are interrelated. Build in additional resources to cushion the unexpected. Feel confident that you can adjust fluidly to challenges. Remember you have four areas of support: time, money, energy and resources. Withdraw from all of these as needed without compromising one or two. Adapt without guilt or judgment. Harmony will enable you to feel that you have more choices and that no one area of your life needs to take the brunt of the additional strain of life’s unexpected challenges. Begin to think harmony instead of balance and see how that affects the choices you make.
Credit Source:
Alicia is a transformational teacher, leadership advisor and personal guide. She is a dynamic speaker, author, blogger, writer and visionary whose work unites the world of business with wisdom, mindfulness and spirituality. The base of her own wisdom lies in her studies of spiritual teachings, psychological frameworks, cognitive science studies, and ancestral wisdom traditions. She lives on the Chesapeake Bay where she engages her passion for kayaking and writing and in South America, where she lives part-time and hosts healing and creativity retreats in her home by the ocean.
Personal Coach www.aliciamrodriguez.com
Leadership Coaching www.sophia-associates.com
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