Self-Perception & ‘The Relationship to Self’

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Here at the-Coaching Blog-run by Gerard O’Donovan, our aim is to constantly bring value to those seeking to improve their lives. Therefore we have a policy of publishing articles and materials by guest authors whom we value and appreciate. Today’s guest author is Scott Hardie (Australia).
Many years ago, at an unknown date and time, the old adage of, ‘if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you’ came into existence. Though the years and generations have passed, this phrase, perhaps, has never been truer. Our excessive global desire to be more connected; more quickly and more validated by more means, by more people, and via more news, have created a polarised, and a largely incongruent monster within humanity.
Within my fields of work that intersect Speech Pathology & Mental Health; NLP, Clinical Hypnotherapy & Coaching; and Neuroscience it is becoming increasingly more evident that people want others to be more patient, more kind, more chilled-out, and more love-based on their expression, and yet these same individuals are deeply struggling to express these things toward themselves.
While the scripts of life within people and their development of issues such as body image, bullying, self-confidence, substance-fuelled violence are of growing concern and highly publicised, when looking deeper, the core of these issues resonate at the point of self-perception and relationship-to-self.
Our journey via the ‘Emotional Intelligence’ generation has come to an end, or perhaps it has evolved. Balance within ourselves, applying a strategic and simultaneous vision of the possibility of now, and consideration of the next step is now required, and the field of Neuroscience is paving the path’ of new knowledge that will allow humanity to further evolve if and as required.
I say ‘if’ above, because, as I am sure you know, it’s a choice isn’t it.
A plethora of Neuroscience research is now available at our fingertips. Authors such as Mark Waldman (Words can Change your Brain) and Norman Doige (The Brain that Changes Itself) are a few of the authors adding to the studies of the inner working of human self-perception.
Their conclusions about the mind and perception are leading humanity to understand many things, including;

• The reference that you have on our mind can allow for the shaping, molding and changing of our state, physiology & neurochemistry, and resultant behavior
• Our mind naturally wanders up to every 3 seconds; it may wander into the state of worry, doubt, fear or concern or into a positive imaginative state. This is dependent on the state of our unconscious.
• Our primary success in life itself is driven by 2 elements; the image that we currently have of ourselves within our unconscious, and the words that are associated or attached to it

In 2014, self-perception is a hot topic in working with youth (children and adolescents), their families and schools. There are many points of best practice to be considered when working with youth, families, and schools, though the most important element to mention here is ‘How congruent are you within your own message?’
The youth of today have a huge congruence-meter; they can feel incongruence a mile off.
Below you will find a Plan-for-Self to build the Inner Platform you desire, and ultimately be the mirror you desire for your children or the children of today.
Ultimate Plan for Self

1. Engineer an Optimal Physical Self & Environment

• Decide on releasing all addictions; replace them with health based strategies
• Observe yourself, people, and conversations within your circles of influence; and question yourself in regard to repeat offenses that are incongruent to your mental and emotional well-being – make changes without obligation
• Write down 5 things you love to do. Decide on doing 1 thing every day or few days to lift the natural state of joy your ‘self’ experiences.
• If you are a parent, as you model the love of self, within your life, and all that you do, your children will unconsciously model this too

1. Build a Self-Profile, shaping, molding and transforming self as required

• Note your past emotional triggers, the emotions you experienced, the people involved, and what you were learning at the time
• Decide on new strategic pathways to manage and transform these moments in your life as you would like them to be experienced.
• Create the path to being neutral and calm; where emotion is ONLY utilized in an ACTIVE manner, rather than previously known reactivity
• Decide to build thought-based awareness. Identify all things that irritate; annoy or frustrate you, and are triggering your SHADOWS. In 2014, the Shadow part of the Self is the number one block to human contentment.

1. Execute a daily routine for self-maintenance

• Life has moments of opportunity and possibility to grow beyond obstacles, collisions, and challenges. If you require support, please ask! Within the www.coachingmbs.com we have many processes to support and transform emotional and mind-states that are not serving you, and build presence, stillness, contentment, relaxation, and motivation for life. If you are searching for a process, and are yet to find it, please email us at admin@coachingmbs.com

1. Experience

• Deeply immerse yourself in the joy of that which you choose to experience

 
Credit Source:
Scott Hardie (Australia)
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