For Better or Worse, You Are Your Friends

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Here at the Coaching Blog- one of the world’s leading blogs on the subject of Leadership and Coaching we quite often post articles by leading authors and authorities- today we are delighted to post an article from linkedin.com by Ken Keis, Ph.D.
Years, ago research confirmed that our lives reflect our five closest friends. Our aspirations, attitudes, fitness level, net worth and level of success in life is a mirror of our personal associations. It is difficult to be a winner if we are always hanging out with losers.
If your primary friend group acts and thinks differently from you, and holds different values and life direction, what makes you think that this will help you grow in any way? If your current associations don’t reflect your core values or mindset, then reconsider the people and groups in your life.
However, I suggest that we should take this association principle one step further. We should be thinking about associating with others who can pull us up and mentor us – those who are far ahead of our own development curve, character, or achievement level.
Both of my kids changed schools in high school. Even though my son knew a few teenagers at the new school he still went through the process of find a peer group to connect and hang out with. A few weeks into the school year, we noticed some unacceptable behaviors from Tim. We learned that he was associating with a group at school that did not hold our family (or his personal) values. Even though he insisted he had his own mind and choices, the power of association was trumping his personal free will. It’s called peer pressure and peer influence for a reason.
As parents, we do our best to counsel and coach, but it is still something that each adult must choose. We are thankful that just two months later, Tim realized that the group he had chosen to associate was not going to help him become who and what he wanted to be and he courageously shifted his association to a group of friends that better reflected his values and direction.
This is not about judging others as inferior; this is about personal alignment, affinity, encouragement, and choosing to be in an environment that supports our dreams, goals, values ,and desires.
So what about your personal associations? Do they reflect who and what you want to be come and do? Read more on this and topics like these in my book, The Quest For Purpose.
Ken Keis, Ph.D., President of CRG, is a global authority on developmental assessments and how assessment strategies increase and multiply success rates. In 28 years, he has conducted over 3,000 presentations and invested 10,000+ hours in consulting and coaching. His latest book, The Quest For Purpose, is available at www.thequestforpurpose.ca. He is also the author of Why Aren’t You More Like Me? Discover the Secrets to Understanding Yourself and Others, and co-author of Deliberate Leadership: Creating Success Through Personal Style. He co-created CRG’s proprietary development models, and has written more than 3.5 million words of content for 40 business training programs, and over 400 articles. Ken’s expertise includes assisting individuals, families, teams, and organizations to realize their full potential, and to Live On Purpose!
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