Here at the-Coaching Blog-run by Gerard O’Donovan, our aim is to constantly bring value to those seeking to improve their lives. Therefore we have a policy of publishing articles and materials by guest authors whom we value and appreciate. Today’s guest author is Alina Tudorache (Romania)
‘A vehicle can successfully reach its destination by having a functional characteristic, enough fuel and being driven with clarity, purpose, passion, on the most fit road for its capacity. ‘
Eliciting serves both the NLP coach and the coachee
In NLP coaching, the dynamics we use as coaches lead to our coachees’ balance. And we often do so by making them aware of where they actually place themselves in this world, why are they there, what do they belief about themselves, about others and what is their larger worldview, what do they really believe in, who they are for themselves and for others, who they belong to and why, and what is their purpose, meaning in this life. This is how they come to realize their intention for their destination. This is the manner in which any client comes to envision the most powerful desires and the strongest blockages and limits that he or she has. Only by this opportunity to look at themselves, an NLP coach can really start to guide them towards a flow state in a focused manner.
Intention feeds motivation
Over the years, I had coachees from various fields: Arts, Banking, Politics, NGO’s, Insurances, Permaculture, Agricultural machinery, from different religious groups, or different communities.
They all thought they needed coaching. They all thought coaching would offer them direct answers, solutions and hope. Not alignment. Not congruence. Not balance. They wanted magical solutions to their blockages. I asked them all when it was time: ‘Do you really want this coaching? Are you ready to change your life and fully commit to yourself?’. Half were prepared and eager to start. The other half said that they will decide if the change is needed during or after the coaching sessions. So here comes my question, a question that I’ve addressed them, as well: ‘What’s your real intention of going through this coaching session?’. Intention is a personal contract one makes with himself/herself. The skeptical half represented people sent by specific companies they were working for, and most of them said: ‘I am perfectly comfortable with my wage and my activities within the company. Sincerely, I don’t really understand why the company sent me to these coaching sessions.’ On the other half, individuals representing minority groups, disadvantaged communities, people in Sales and Marketing, were much more opened, engaged and ready to receive coaching and transform their personal and professional life.
When it comes to enhancing the performance of any kind with the help of NLP coaching, I have met people who were activated, curious and ready to engage. They came with the intention to access that inner change mechanic and tools and see how this whole process changes them.
On the personal coaching side, the most prepared individuals for the coaching sessions that I had were the ones with terminal affections. They valued time differently. They saw their personal energy and engagement as reasonable and aligned factors in their change process. And the whole coaching was a golden ticket to another meaningful day in their life.
What I appreciate as 100% to be true is the next fact: coaching really adds better significant value and faster change implementation, for people with higher motivation and with a clear intention to transform and rebuild their lives, be it in a 1-on-1 session or in a group coaching session.
Awakening of the Self
I’ve heard so many times that a coach facilitates the learning process. My belief is that the NLP coach is not a teacher, a trainer, a counselor, or a mentor. We guide individuals to depict their depreciative beliefs, their limiting self-constructs and we offer them complete freedom to obtain clarity, nurture emotional empowerment in themselves, discover motivation and enhance it towards a new way of living. And for that, we need accurate information through elicitations, observing the verbal and non-verbal. We need precision in the tools we are using. We use consideration and professional empathy to identify what happens to the person in front of us and which is the best method, strategy, model to approach the process of change. It’s all about using the right mechanics for the best coaching experience, where change can start right away.
Any person that comes to our coaching sessions, we meet a mind, a body and a soul. And this person needs to solve a biological, psychological, socio-spiritual aspect of his/her life. In any of these cases, working with these depreciative beliefs, Time Lines, and more, will help our coaches solve inner situations related to their body, mind, relationships and spirituality.
In my opinion, the coaching interventions in NLP have healing properties. There’s nothing esoterical, magical or crazy about this fact. It’s how NLP coaching functions as a cure, as an intervention of the mind to clean its mess, dismantle fear and get out of chaos, find balance, find meaning and purpose, fire up-motivation with intention and clarity of what the soul wants and needs. A clean inward look and dusting off those old beliefs, behaviours, trauma and blockages really offer any person a new life to enjoy – a healthier one with a new behaviour and a new system of beliefs.
Simply put: People did not change, did not adapt to different major aspects in their life. They just found ways to cope. NLP coaching empowers people with coherence. It takes them through a whole process of change and provides them the right instruments to adapt and manage this beneficial change. And this reactivates a new DNA for their life to gain a new purpose and meaning. In the NLP field, we knew about this for a while now, from the Index Computations model of Leslie Cameron-Bandler, showing how thinking, feelings and physiology are connected with each other in such a powerful way.
Another clear opinion, I have formed after years of coaching people: NLP coaching is a tool in the service of being, not of ego or collectiveness. It’s a deconstructive journey of the self and a self-constructive phenomenal process. So, with proper coaching, even the mind has the power to self-heal, gain healthier beliefs and generate new habits and behaviour.
NLP coaching is a transformative process. It’s a supportive gift from a soul to another.
Ending with a funny fact
When a cochee I had made a joke and said that maybe one day he will be coached by a AI machine, I’ve told him that’s like playing chess or cards with yourself. It feels like winning and losing, at the same time. There’s no game, there’s no change. An NLP coach’s emotional acuity cannot be replaced in the future with a software or any AI machine. There’s, of course, some software that uses Meta and Milton Language NLP coaching, thinking patterns, etc. And I have used some in the past to make an idea about how they function, both as a client and as a NLP coach. And the conclusion is the same: it takes an individually tailored process, a design of the coaching steps that only a human being can build and deliver to another human, in order to help this person access all his/her resources and attain his or her full potential.
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